“In our minds, you’re all Kenyans.”
“Your feet hurt because you are kicking so much butt!”
“Your legs will forgive you…eventually.”
“Don’t stop — people are watching.”
“Worst Parade Ever”
“Chafe now…brag forever.”
“That’s not sweat, it’s your fat cells crying.”
“You’ve got stamina! Call me!”
“Pain now…beer later.”
“If a marathon was easy, it would be called your mother.”
“I’m sure it seemed like a good idea 4 months ago.”
“Run like you stole something.”
“Toenails are for sissies.”
“Where are you all going?”
“Hurry up…beer misses you!”
“You’re not slow. You’re just enjoying the course.”
“Stop reading this and keep running!”
“Beat Oprah!”
“Chuck Norris never ran a marathon”
“Don’t trust that fart”
“And I thought NASCAR was boring”
“Beat Paul Ryan!”
“Hurry up! My feet are tired of standing”
“See a doctor if you keep it up longer than 4 hours”
“May the course be with you”
“Hurry up! People are waiting for you”
“Staying up all night making this sign was hard, too”
“I trained for 6 months to hold this sign”
“Smile if you peed yourself”
“This seems like a lot more than 2.62 miles”
“Not impressed”
“Kenyans are lazy - they only run for 2 hours”
“26.2: because 26.3 would just be crazy”
“My mascara runs faster than you!”
“The pain is temporary; online race results are forever”
“You trained longer than Kim Kardashian’s marriage”
“there’s no app for this, keep running”
“Take a cab, it’s faster”
“If you made it to the starting line, you’ll make it to the finish line”
